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Thread: Goblin Nonsense

  1. #11
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    “About twelve Ogre arses that way, an’ past the running water.”

    "In other words ya don't know, do yuh?" Chuffy taunted teasingly, drooling the words slowly as he leaned closer to nose-to-nose with Sparky, escalating the intensity. Chuffy's dogslicer happened to be in his hand, and was now raised to Sparky's flaming gaze.

    "Bite, bite, bite!
    Chomp, chomp, chomp!
    We dance on boneys heads!
    Stomp, stomp, stomp!"


    It was Dogbreath, that moron, Chuffy turned his head from Sparky to see. Dogbreath's head would explode like a pumpkin if hit, but he could sneak and fight and knew the woods. Chuffy once saw Dogbreath fit an entire goblin dog head in his mouth before chomping down on it. Dogbreath's rally caused the fervor of the dance to take over Chuffy again.

    "Bite, Bite, Bite!
    Fight, fight, fight!
    We stomp on bony heads!
    Might! Might! Might!"


    "Slice! Slam! Fry! Like Pickled! Mice! Pie! We'll stomp around the pyre! Of Fire! Fire FIRE!" Chuffy rallied, raising his dogslicer in a speak-in-tongues-like mania in honor of his broodling's rare gift of the Barghests. The more fervor created, the more goblins might join in and come on the raid. There was strength in numbers.

    "Chuf! Dog! Spark! Fire in the Dark! To Dismal Caverns raid! Heroes Three are made!
    Chuf! Dog! Spark! Barking in the Dark! To BoneDancers raid! Heroes Three are made!
    Chuf! Dog! Spark! Sneaking in the Dark! Sneaking through the Woods! Heroes Three with Hoods!
    Will!! There!! Be more!? Then there will be Four!!"
    Otherwise just Three!! Will taste the Evil Glee!!"
    Last edited by Bong Bellowsmoke; 08-24-2016 at 03:56 PM.
    The Red Condor shrieked at Sir Darvig in full wrath. Wings flapped storms of fire across the sky. "The Mage-God grows in power swifter than it appears to Paladine. This I know. A warning," Sargonnas told Darvigl, "for you to give to Paladine in your prayers."

    I will, Darvig uttered.

  2. #12
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    Quote Originally Posted by Chuffy
    "In other words ya don't know, do yuh?" Chuffy taunted teasingly, drooling the words slowly as he leaned closer to nose-to-nose with Sparky, escalating the intensity. Chuffy's dogslicer happened to be in his hand, and was now raised to Sparky's flaming gaze.
    Sparkskar froze in place and replied to Chuffy's taunts with a leering, toothy smile. His eyes did travel to the offered blade, and his kin could sense a bit of trepidation from the wizard, but Sparkskar did not yield to the aggressive display. He wisely remained steadfast and still, silently wishing Chuffy would back off and leave him alone. It would not do to be beaten by his lesser before the lot of the tribe.

    Mercifully Chuffy danced away to the delight of the others and Firetamer could feel the lingering gazes of some of the more powerful. He could only hope he had not just become the target of one of the up and comers.

    He turned his blazing eyes over the crowd and watched as Chuffy frolicked, his mind going over the infinite possibilities of what was to come. Animated corpses, necromancers, and greater undead, a lich! Such a power could destroy the tribe to a gob.
    Talon Everett Human Daring Infiltrator3/Rogue1 Wrath of the Righteous
    Ashtari Windglade Kender Fighter2/Rogue7 Hourglass in the Sky
    Sparkskar Brambleclaw Goblin Fire Elementalist2 The Kingdom of Zog

  3. #13
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    Bubbisa stepped from her tent as the ruckus started, a half eaten bone in one hand she ran her other through her hair and over her large ears. It was said in camp that she could hear a flea sneeze but no one would say that to her face for Bubbisa was prone to violent outburst so much she has been known to punch other goblins so hard they now speak with a lisp or stutter... just ask poor Stinkroot. She stuck the bone in her mouth and cleaned it off in one quick slurp and stepped to the edge of the circle with the other females. Some sneered as she came to the edge, she flashed her teeth at those women and they quickly averted their eyes from Bubbisa. She was either blessed or cursed with an unnatural beauty for a goblin, it depended on who you asked. She didn't care, she couldn't help it if the Great Barghast reached down and placed her in this body but she was thankful. She was far stronger than most every goblin in the camp, male and female alike, and most of the males wanted to have her. She knew her role as most females did, bear children to strengthen the tribe though she had not born any yet... she was biding her time. She wasn't going to have any gobs children, they had to be strong and worthy of her for her children would someday lead the tribe this she knew. Many have tried most have left with a bloody nose or a broken arm, disappointed.

    She watched as Chuffy, Dogbreath and Sparkscar offered their "services" to Graalsk's call to arms. Several of the females were commenting of how brave or foolish these three were, how they were going to become legend or ogre food. Perhaps one of these men would be worthy to father her children... Chuffy always craved power, Sparkscar wove magic a fact that excited Bubbisa... although he did write words perhaps she could break him of that habit, and finally Gruk or Dogbreath as most called him, Dogbreath was... well... she never saw herself with Dogbreath but he could fit a whole dog's head in his mouth and could he eat more than most in the tribe something she found enticing. How could she be sure though? How would she know which one would be worthy? She knew what she had to do. She pushed her way through the cowards that refused to take a stand, some looked to bite her until they saw it was Bubbisa who just stared at any that bared their teeth until they backed down. Once she was through the crowd she stepped forward. "I TOO JOIN THE CAUSE!" She cried as some of the goblins became quiet. It was rare for a female to join a raid, but who was going to argue with Bubbisa? "I will go to see who has what it takes to bear my children." A gasp was murmured through the men. Perhaps now more would join in, that was fine with her... more to pick from. "Whoever kills more than me will be considered." She drew out her greataxe and slammed it into a piece of wood daring any to refute her claim in the raiding party.
    Spasseltock Nimblefingers kender CN (with good tendencies) Rogue/13, Handler/ 8
    Shayle Wist'lya Bothan Noble 3/Scoundrel 1/Scout 3/Infiltrator 2 Star Wars: Dawn of Defiance
    Evelyn Morningory Aasimar Warpriest of Sarenrae 2 Wrath of the Righteous
    Virgil Halard Human Ranger 4/Fighter 2/Rogue 2/Knight of the Lily 1 Hourglass in the Sky

  4. #14
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    Chief Graalsk watched as Sparskar, Chuffy and Dogbreath volunteered to go 'destroy the BoneDancers'. He chuckled. Some of Gobs strongest support, as well as at least one disgruntled hater, were leaving simply because he asked them to go. Suckers. He hadn't even offered a reward yet. Now, he wouldn't have too! Ah, maybe this was going to be a better turnout than even he had suspected. Then, the bottom dropped out from beneath him.

    "I TOO JOIN THE CAUSE!" Her voice was one he knew anywhere. No. Say it wasn't what he hea-


    "I will go to see who has what it takes to bear my children." The fit goblin 'maid' bore a huge axe with a little effort. "Whoever kills more than me will be considered." She drew out her greataxe and slammed it into a piece of wood daring any to refute her claim in the raiding party.

    Bubbissa. Graalsk swept his gaze over her. She was lovely. He was waiting until the harvest to bed her, using the FallRaid as an excuse to drag her to his bed. Once there he would have her whenever he wanted her. And she was a terrific fighter! He cursed and flung wine onto LickSpittle, his jester. The furry-eared goblin leaped away as he was splashed, crashing into the trio of heroes before falling on his face. Roars of laughter echoed through the BrambleHall.

  5. #15
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    LickSpittle slammed into Chuffy among others to knock the charcoal-skin runt onto the ground. Chuffy had been chanting and dancing so wildly as Bubbisa had joined the raid - causing him to flail even more out of control - that he was beginning to hurt himself. But he didn't care. Bubbisa would attract other warriors to the raid, for she was the marvel of every gob in Thornkeep's roving eye. She was stronger than most hobos, and would be the sturdiest mate in the tribe. Chuffy was surprised Chief Graalsk had not already taken her before another gob got to her. It was another moronic reason he didn't deserve to be chief.

    Now she was coming on the raid and would be nowhere near Chief Graalsk. Skar and Dogbreath would be Chuffy's only competition on the raid, so far.

    Hopefully more gobs would join, but that would mean more competition!

    Chuffy grew furious at the conundrum*. He scrambled to his feet, then kicked LickSpittle while he was down. Beginning a shriek of rage, Chuffy kicked until it soon turned back to shrieks of evil glee. Feeling better, he went back to his crazy dance.

    "Four! Four! Four!
    For War! War! War!
    More! More!! More!
    BURN! BURN! BURN!

    Four! Four! Four!
    For War! War! War!
    More! Boney Worms!
    TO BURNS! BURNS! BURNS!"


    OOC
    When Bubbisa joins in the raid, Chuffy dances so wildly that he does 1 nonlethal damage to himself.
    *Chuf has an Int of 14 so I figure he knows at least a few big words!
    Last edited by Bong Bellowsmoke; 08-27-2016 at 01:38 PM.
    The Red Condor shrieked at Sir Darvig in full wrath. Wings flapped storms of fire across the sky. "The Mage-God grows in power swifter than it appears to Paladine. This I know. A warning," Sargonnas told Darvigl, "for you to give to Paladine in your prayers."

    I will, Darvig uttered.

  6. #16
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    Sparkskar stumbled and nearly fell when the fool gob collided with the trio. If not for the sturdy wood of his makeshift staff he might have fallen, and he knew that might have been the death of him. Goblins from all levels of society would have been more than happy to stomp him into the dirt, his brother likely to be the first of them all.

    So enraged by that possibility he gestured towards LickSpittle with his free hand, the words of a deadly offensive spell on the tip of his tongue, but Chuffy was already there. His broodling kicked the fool gob repeatedly with glee and unknowingly spared LickSpittle from the inferno.

    The elementalist cursed under his breath, turned away from the beating, and stalked closer to the lil' boss, stopping when he were but a few feet from Graalsk. He managed a cursory nod to the highly regarded female on his way, but little more. He knew better than to think she'd choose him over any of the other "heroes" of the tribe. His features more closely resembled an ugly halfling than a goblin, which made him less desirable than Chuffy, or even Gruck.

    He looked up at the filthy boss and stared with fierce yellow eyes and a knowing smirk.

    "You make a play against strong foes. You must be organized, and you must bring allies. You should make allies of another tribe and use their warriors as fodder. Let them die while we take the treasures and kill the Lich." he spoke loud enough for all to hear him, knowing full well that some of the more intelligent gobs would stop their insufferable dancing and howling to make note of the all too interesting conversation.

    "Chuffy and Sparkskar will KILL THE LICH!" he called out to all who would hear it. But Sparkskar was more subtle and cunning than he looked. He infused his words with a rather simple cantrip and projected his declaration to the mind of the chief, forcing the words to echo in Graalsk's mind like a threat, more than a promise.

    Let the games begin...

      Spoiler: OOC 

    Casting Message for the above effect, to project his words into the chief's mind so once spoken aloud they can "echo" in his thoughts. Looking for a little dramaticism here and to implant ideas for a future power play.
    Last edited by Dalamar91; 08-27-2016 at 05:27 PM.
    Talon Everett Human Daring Infiltrator3/Rogue1 Wrath of the Righteous
    Ashtari Windglade Kender Fighter2/Rogue7 Hourglass in the Sky
    Sparkskar Brambleclaw Goblin Fire Elementalist2 The Kingdom of Zog

  7. #17
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    Chief Graalsk, shied away from the approaching Sparkskar. No one liked to think about what would happen if all those words in his head got free. Likely the fall of the goblin race.

    "Chuffy and Sparkskar will KILL THE LICH!" the little flame tosser cried. "Chuffy and Sparkskar will KILL THE LICH!" Graalsk twitched in his throne as the sibilant whisper of Sparkskar echoed in his mind. Graalsk turned to glare at the offensive magic-user. If he weren't already leaving, Graalsk would have banished him right then. For some reason, the creeping dread of being overwhelmed by words overcame him. The mage was a threat and Graalsk decided then and there that if by some miracle this spell-slinger returned, he would receive a Not-So-Welcome Party.

  8. #18
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    Gorvgo sat high in his perch in the cavern watching the commotion. He was munching on a spider and making his new "flyers" for the revival he was planning on later in the evening. He was a goblin that was nothing special and often laughed at.
    "Have you heard the good news?" He would ask as he handed out a finger, eyeball, desiccated spider with odd swirls of paint on them, "The Lord and Devourer wants you to join in his cause. Everyone eats!"
    Usually this was met with laughs of derision. Though no goblin ever turned down the free eats that were offered.
    Gorvgo, as a middling-low priest of Rovagug, was evangelical for a goblin. He often spent his days with a sandwich board and handbell proclaiming the wonders of Rovagug and why all should worship the Devourer. He had a smattering of followers. As in, the riff-raff and outcasts. But he was devout. He was also known for being sadistic, even for a goblin. He took pleasure out of his religious "ceremonies." These usually involved his bone knife and hobgoblin skull chalice and a sacrifice strapped to a table and screams lasting through the night. He had a reputation as slovenly. Yet the epitome of professionalism when it came to his torturing of victims and sacrifices for Rovagug.
    Usually during the commotion of these type of gatherings Gorvgo would just focus on his meditations. But he couldn't help but think of the opportunity of new conversions. And he did always have a bit of a crush on that beautiful specimen of a goblin. . .

  9. #19
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    Casting his gaze around the BrambleHall, Graalsk was getting a bit sick of all the to-do he created when he called for Heroes. Some of his enemies were among them, but also some of those he had counted on for support. And the whispering words of the wizard slinking around in his head was pushing him over the edge. He needed to lash out, but LickSpittle, now upright, was staying well out of kicking reach now. Then, he saw something. That weirdo Gorvgo, the Gugger. He was munching on something (typical, and none given to Graalsk, indeed!) and smearing goo on papers. Flyers he called them. Really just odd symbols that came with a tasty treat to eat, often stuck right to the page. Sending him along on this debacle would rid him of nearly every enemy he had in the tribe, meaning without any threats around he could just relax and be lazy again! Graalsk suddenly had an idea (Please, Hero Gods let the words not be spreading in my head!)

    "Quests need wise council. I name Gorvgo Wise Counsel! You go with Gobs, take flyers to Bone Dancers. But leave treats with Graalsk! He will keep treats safe!"

    Graalsk waited for the Rovagugger to climb down from his perch, anticipating with glee the treats he would be 'keeping safe'. His wide goblin mouth began salivating.

    OoC
    Bold is spoken aloud, underlined is thought in his head

  10. #20
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    Gorvgo climbed down the walls with nimble fingers. Finding places to climb other goblins could not. The others laugh at me. But big chieftan knows. He thinks to himself.

    I accept the position!! We go in the name of the Devourer!!!
    Goblins munch! And goblins crunch! The lich's bones will be but dust!!!

    Gorvgo will hand out a few of his flyers to goblins in the crowd. He hands Graalsk the biggest spider in his blood stained pouch with a big toothy grin on his face.

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