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Thread: Goblin Nonsense

  1. #171
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    Bubissa stood at the door with Gobs. She knew they should go back with the others and regroup before going through the door, what if there was a dragon on the other side? Yeah what if it was a dragon? She thought. A dragon means lots of treasure! And with that thought Bubissa gave into her goblin urges. She would be the one to get the first spoils... her and Gobs. Wait what if it is trapped?! Was the last thought that went through her mind as she opened the door.

    OOC: She gives into her chaotic nature and opens the door.
    Spasseltock Nimblefingers kender CN (with good tendencies) Rogue/13, Handler/ 8
    Shayle Wist'lya Bothan Noble 3/Scoundrel 1/Scout 3/Infiltrator 2 Star Wars: Dawn of Defiance
    Evelyn Morningory Aasimar Warpriest of Sarenrae 2 Wrath of the Righteous
    Virgil Halard Human Ranger 4/Fighter 2/Rogue 2/Knight of the Lily 1 Hourglass in the Sky

  2. #172
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    The wizard twisted to get a good look at the holy gob and narrowed his bloodshot eyes. What was the Devourer acolyte up to now? Sparkskar almost said something. Almost, but then the earth shook and he was thrown from his feet like some discarded tanglefoot bag. To make matters worse, his spear slipped from his hand and clattered on the floor, giving away his position to the blue-skinned gob. Sparkskar’s heart caught in his throat and his eyes bulged in his skull.

    “Damn it!”

    There was no sense in hiding now. No point in spying on the possible spy from the god’s knew what rival tribe. Better to make his presence known with as much dignity as he could muster.

    “Snotlings and scabs! What’re you carrying on about now?”

    From behind the altar stepped a creature with that was vaguely goblinoid, save for his strange olive complexion and robes more fit for a university wizard than a sneaky git. His head was smallish, more suitable for a Halfling or a gnome, but his teeth and eyes were consistent for the race. He could pass for one of the smaller humanoid races, or perhaps a mixed race and unfortunate soul. His robes were dark patch cloth with flames knitted into them by a somewhat skilled hand, and a moment after making his presence known, the creature lifted a spear from the ground to lean upon like a makeshift staff.

    A trained eye might have spotted the component pouches along his belt, and the cover of a gold-bound book sticking out of the slightly open backpack. A trained nose may have noted the strong scent of herbs, animal waste, and worse. But even a blithering idiot could note the collection of scroll cases that were strategically arranged all over his body, attached to leather straps by copper rings. Even a brain-damaged ogre could see that this one was a caster of some sort.

    Sparkskar nodded to the blue-skinned gob and made a face as if to say the antics of his ally were ridiculous, if not entertaining. He leaned upon his staff and yawned, trying to appear nonchalant as he snuck a glance above and around them, waiting to spot some sign of the opposing tribe in force.

    “Sparkskar Brambleclaw.” He announced as if it mattered. “Destroyer of liches and human burner…”
    Talon Everett Human Daring Infiltrator3/Rogue1 Wrath of the Righteous
    Ashtari Windglade Kender Fighter2/Rogue7 Hourglass in the Sky
    Sparkskar Brambleclaw Goblin Fire Elementalist2 The Kingdom of Zog

  3. #173
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    Default Striegboirk

    Striegboirk looked around. Now there was two gobbies. Striegboirk cracked a big smile.

    "Striegboirk am Striegboirk. Striegboirk's lord was Zag the Destroyer, but Zag might now be dead. If him dead, him not as powerful as him said him was. This place was besieged by tall ones and a GoldGuard hoomon did juju on Striegboirk and the moons passed and passed till a man, with a split black and white mask and crystals growing from his skin, loosed Striegboirk from Striegboirk's stuckness. Striegboirk am not enemy, Striegboirk am of Zog!!! Am you of Zog??"

  4. #174
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    Sparkskar nodded in response.

    "Yes, yes. Zog. Of course Zog." he waved it off as inconsequential and turned his attention back to the strangely acting cleric.

    "If you 'am not enemy' you must be friend. Are you friend, Striegboirk?" Sparky asked while he continued to watch Gorvgo.

    Whatever was happening to Gorvgo was turning out to be an interesting distraction. The Elementalist didn't know what to make of it, but it was becoming more and more curious as time elapsed. Was he compromised beyond the point of being useful, or would he snap out of, whatever it was that was happening to him? Time would tell...
    Talon Everett Human Daring Infiltrator3/Rogue1 Wrath of the Righteous
    Ashtari Windglade Kender Fighter2/Rogue7 Hourglass in the Sky
    Sparkskar Brambleclaw Goblin Fire Elementalist2 The Kingdom of Zog

  5. #175
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    Wait what if it is trapped?! Was the last thought that went through her mind as she opened the door. But it wasn't. Bubbisa glimpsed a narrow stair, goblin-built for sure, winding widdershins. The bend began after only a few stairs and by a half-dozen it was lost to further inspection.

    Gobs really wanted to impress Bubbisa. Throughout the trip Chuffy, and even Sparky, had grabbed the shapely she-gob's attention. Gobs needed to get her focused on him, As soon as she drew open the door he shot past her and down the stairs in an acrobatic whirl of sword and bare goblin legs and bulging pouches packed with explosives. He landed facing reverse four steps down before dropping into a stealthy stance and fading into the shadows, descending as he disappeared around the bend. Bubbisa lost track of him.

    Gobs warily crept down the stairs, eyes peeled for goblin shenanigans. This tunnel was goblin built, and that meant traps. Peering into the darkness Gobs soon confirmed his train of thought. Goblin builders were notorious for their structure's instability and shoddy craftsmanship. Yet these ruins were built on strong foundations, infused with magical power long ago by the original builders, and this outpost's longevity owed its existence to those structural bones. Goblins workers had cut niches for the steps and shoved a slate step into each niche,"bracing" the step with chips of limestone. The step three below Gobs wasn't braced with limestone. It was shale, weak and crumbly and painted to blend in better. The paint had faded oddly, making it stand out more clearly. Nearing the step, Gobs drew forth a smidgen of charcoal to blacken his fingers, leaned down carefully and smudged the Brambleclaw sigil for "bad step" on the Crumble Step before carefully bypassing that particular stair. Anything over a few dozen pounds, like most Tall Folk, would shatter the shale step, likely causing the victim to trip and fall. In the face of invaders it might well sweep any number back down the stairs, painfully.
    Gobs moved on, confident Bubbisa would notice the sigil. He knew better than to think the stairs would be safe now. Goblins would have a secondary effect, to follow up the misfortune of the tripped and sliding. Gobs was the trap master for the Brambleclaws, as well as the master alchemist, and the chief lieutenant, too! Or so he liked to consider himself. And why not consider himself the chief instead of chief lieutenant? Gobs almost let his dreams of glory distract him, but the gates before him on the stair were hard to miss.

    Two full turns later the stairs paused at a small landing, barely one gob wide, with a pair of jagged black iron gates at the edge. They were hinged to only open down the continuing stairs, making the climber awkwardly open them, forced to draw back to allow the gate to open, yet for the sliding victims it meant a seamless continued, painful descent with a slashing passage between the gates to increase the lethality.
    Gobs knew when it was prudent to be cautious, as much as any gob, anyway, which really wasn't much. But he had seen traps in books and other dungeons, and he knew that magic was often used in the most lethal of traps. He scanned the gates for magical signs or tampering and his diligence paid off. On the inside edge of each gate was a faint black arcane rune. The gate was trapped with magic! Gobs hesitated a moment to allow Bubbisa to reach him, not silly enough to brave magic taps without a little help. He hissed quietly back up the stairs. "Bubbisa, 'ware the stair. Come down to see this."

    OoC
    Gobs Acrobatics to tumble past Bubbisa down the narrow stairs d20(11)+7=18, success.
    Stealth to continue quietly d20(5)+19= 24
    Bubbisa Perception to hear Gobs as he disappears around the bend d20(10)+13=23, fails
    Gobs Perception to see Crumble Stair d20(12)+8= 20, success, barely. Thank you trapsense...
    Gobs "Disable Device" to mark the unsafe step clearly d20(5)+10=15, success, barely!
    Gobs Perception to see the "Gates" d20(16)+10=26, sucess
    Gobs perception to check "Gates" for traps, d20(16)+8=24, success. Lucky mofo {grumble grumble goes the GM...};
    Gobs stops to wait for Bubbisa
    The Brambleclaw "sigil" used is simply a small stick figure with a separated leg and a line underneath , indicating a goblin with a damaged leg. It's a Dc 10 Perception check, which Bubbisa cannot fail. Others will need to make skill checks...
    Last edited by SirIggy; 04-14-2017 at 12:22 AM.

  6. #176
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    Gorvgo's stomach roiled and he retched. Green bile and phlegm spewing over the rubble.
    "Rabbi Hug?"Gorvgo moaned pittiously,"What is happening to me? You no tell me this what happen. You want me to eat more of you?"
    Gorvgo pulled a piece of what looks to be a forearm out of his pouch. His normally grey face has a very green hue to it as his overly large razor sharp teeth crunch doen and consume the bone. He grimaced as he chewed and swallowed hard.
    "Rabbi Hug, you taste so good but Gorvgo doesnt feel good."

    Gorvgo lurched over towards the fire wizard.
    He smart one. Gorvgo thought. He has FIRE. He special.
    Gorvgo stumbles to the fire wizard and acts as though he is going to grab his spear.
    "Do you see that!" He cried out,
    "Rabbi Hug! Look there the spider!!
    Gorvgo begins rapidly mumbling in abyssal to the skull puppet and seems to look trough Sparkstar with crazy and wild eyes that make him uncomfortable. Especially when he realizes his familiar is on his shoulder and recognizes some strange gob/abyssal slang for spider and eat mixed together. Before he can dwell too much on this Gorvgo pukes up the putrid forearm of Rabbi Hug on the floor before him. (DC reflex to avoid puke?) Then stumbles over to the alter of
    "Gorvgo tired." He mumbles, "Rabbi Hug is a liar! … Rabbi Hug why is that goblin blue?"

    ​Gorvgo lay down on the alter and falls asleep cradling his skull like a stuffed goblin dog and the other two just stare at the most bizarre goblin they have ever seen.

  7. #177
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    Sparkskar recoiled a step or two from the approaching gob. He turned his hip to interpose his spear between Gorvgo and Charlotte, then commanded the scarlet spider to crawl into a safe place within his robed through their empathic link. Thoughts of dangerand hide would certainly do the trick.

    The wizard angled the spear tip lower until it was level with the approaching goblin’s collarbone. Sparky didn’t know what to expect of Gorvgo at this point, but he wouldn’t risk his familiar.

    “Stay back, fool Devourer! He that touches Charlotte is he who burns slowly. Your god will not protect you from ME!”

    Sparkskar flipped through the pages of his mental spellbook for a spell that could help in this situation, but there was nothing he could see. His knowledge was pitifully limited, and though he travelled with an arsenal of scrolls, Sparkskar had plans for them. He would not waste them on something so trivial. When they were safely scribed in his gold-bound spellbooks he’d consider using them. Not before.

    His resources were limited, but perhaps the blue goblin could provide something of value.

    “Can you fix him?” he asked Striegboirk.

    So much for getting any rest, Sparkskar thought. Maybe he should join the others and keep searching the halls of the temple.

    “Fix him and we go explore, yes yes?”
    Talon Everett Human Daring Infiltrator3/Rogue1 Wrath of the Righteous
    Ashtari Windglade Kender Fighter2/Rogue7 Hourglass in the Sky
    Sparkskar Brambleclaw Goblin Fire Elementalist2 The Kingdom of Zog

  8. #178
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    Gorvgo was unconscious, and Sparkskar and Striegboirk both felt a strong urge to stay away from the altar, a feeling from deep in their guts. A moment after the gob priest lay down, a wall of black-purple flame shot up on all sides of the altar. Gorvgo began to melt! He whimpered quietly in his sleep, and seemed to still mutter, and growl(?), at the skull hand puppet. The Barghest Pillars snarled to life, adding a chorus of wolfish howls to the chamber. As the din rose to a crescendo, the altar fires fully consumed the middling high priest of Rovagug as he lay on the altar and suddenly snuffed out, as if once the priest was gone, there was no fuel left to maintain it. The clangor-to-quiet was deafening to the two gobs still standing in the chamber. Of Gorvgo, his sandwich board and his macabre hand puppet there was no sign.

    Gorvgo lay on the altar stone of the chamber, lit dimly by the black-purple braziers and the torches around the ceiling. Rabbi Hug stood over him, a tooth file in his left hand. He grinned wickedly as Gorvgo sat up on the altar. Across the room, by the Barghest Pillars, a spider with six-and-a-half legs managed to sink its fanged back maw into the foreleg of the obese wolf. The bites the wolf sustained bled profusely, but not enough to wash out the vile poisons the spider injected each time those deadly fangs found purchase.
    "Gorvgo, before you lies a choice. If you follow the Devourer, then destroy the wolf. She is weak from the poison. An ambush should do the trick. If you wish to eat in the name of the Most High Never-Full, then consume the spider, and all his poisons." Rabbi Hug stopped speaking and stepped back from Gorvgo, revealing his right arm ended in a stump just below the elbow, the same bit of forearm Gorvgo had been eating before he passed out. Gorvgo hopped from the altar to the floor. There, carved into the face of the altar, was a bit of pickle, half a sausage, potato peels and a glob of some gelid food; maybe pudding, maybe mayonnaise, maybe wood glue. Without taste, nothing was certain. So Gorvgo licked the altar where the gelid glob was carved. It was sweetened maggot jelly, just like he made himself back home! Gorvgo licked the potato peels, then the sausage and pickle. All of them tasted as if they had come fresh from the food bins of the BrambleHall! Gorvgo turned to watch the fight.
    The she-wolf was tiring badly now, barely able to fend off the spiders quick dash-in, dash-out attacks. Had it all eight legs, the wolf would certainly be finished. As it was, six-and-a-half was still probably enough to do the job. She snarled, glanced at Gorvgo and then launched a surprisingly quick lunge. The spider was unprepared, thinking her now incapable of such a furious burst of speed and energy! The she-wolf managed the impossible, diving her snout so low below the spider she flipped it! The creature landed awkwardly on its back and the wolf lunged for the kill, knowing it was now or never. Her gnashing teeth and ripping fangs tore through the soft underbelly of the spider in a stream of viscera and gore. But the spider had its due. As the she wolf ripped open its soft underbelly, the wolf's throat was exposed, passing over the spider's head to reach the abdomen. The spider struck one last time. Its fangs sank deep and it blasted its last bit of venom into the wolf. Yelping painfully, the wolf fell back from her dying victim, her throat torn ragged by the bite and the sudden violent removal of the spider's fangs. The poison was already causing swelling and blackening of the flesh around the wound. The she-wolf managed to drag herself away from the spider's carcass, withdrawing to the shadows to lick her wounds. In moments, she was gone, and Gorvgo remained. He watched with Rabbi Hug as the spiders legs curled up over its corpse. A mess of flesh and entrails the size of a boulder lay in a widening pool of green and ocher fluids.
    "Well, Gorvgo, it seems you have a meal before you. Leave no trace" Rabbi Hug laughed harshly as he withdrew. A clattering sound caused Gorvgo to turn his head. As the one-armed hobgoblin priest withdrew, he tossed a fork on the floor near Gorvgo's feet.

    Gorvgo turned to the spider corpse. It was bigger than he was! How was he to eat it? The answer came to him in a flash. It was simple: one bite at a time. Gorvgo retrieved the fork, stepped to the spider, and dug in...
    It was horrible. The organs were bitter and burned his tongue. The blood and ichor inside tasted and smelled of feces and the flesh itself, excepting the bony chitin outer plates, was rubbery and took forever to chew, all the while tasting of dog hair. Gorvgo stood for as long as he could, forcing in mouthful after mouthful. Often the slurry of pulped meat was semi-liquid enough for him to simply shovel in the goo, not bothering to chew. Once he sat, Gorvgo cleared that side of legs as a priority before cracking open the carapace and slurping the sludge of liquids that oozed out before continuing to tear off chunks of flesh and eating them. Gorvgo's belly rebelled, claiming it was full. Gorvgo ignored it. His stomach tried to force food back. Gorvgo clenched his abdominal muscles and held the food inside. He was relentless. His belly was swollen and distended. Still Gorvgo fed. He eventually could no longer move. His puny legs would not hold him. His overworked digestive tract had become sluggish, struggling to process the "food" it was being continuously fed. And then, at last, he was done. The spider's body was gone, eaten. But the sea of fluids sticking to the floor was still there. Gorvgo found himself licking the stains, like a vile dog, trying to get every last morsel. He crawled on his knees, abject, licking the rough stone surface of the floor until the stains of spider's demise were no more. Of the spider, it seemed no evidence remained.
    Gorvgo rolled himself to a seated position, rubbing his aching swollen belly to ease his suffering. He waited some time for the return of Rabbi Hug, but when the hobgoblin priest finally returned, poor Gorvgo missed it, for he slept. The great meal lulled him into a stupor and he was unaware as the hobgoblin stood over him in now tattered and moldy robes, much like those he had been wearing when Gorvgo and the other gobs had battled him. The priest removed from his clothes a small jar of clear-ish brown glass. Within bobbed a variety of eight-legged savory delicacies: pickled spiders. The brine was rank and acrid.
    Rabbi Hug spoke quietly. "Welcome to the Ever-Empty Pantry of Venkelvore, Brother Gorvgo." He then turned and exited. When Gorvgo awoke, he would take his pickles and rejoin his comrades. For now, though, a fat she-wolf lying hidden in the shadows was content to watch him sleep, so long as she had something to snack on...

    OoC
    Gorvgo, you can rest up and get in an 8 hour sleep; I will get you some xp on the planner. When you awake you will be reunited. Watch for your intro in the thread
    Last edited by SirIggy; 04-14-2017 at 01:02 PM.

  9. #179
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    Bubissa looked back to see if anyone else was coming. It seemed as if everyone was off doing their own thing so why shouldn't she? With a mischievous giggle she bounded down the stairs keeping an eye out for the stair Gobs warned her of. With a small leap over the marked shale step she ended up in front of the gate with Gobs. "What me looking at?" She asked as she ran a finger down Gobs neck. Maybe Gobs in one.. She thought having never given the alchemist much thought fearing the words he read might melt into her brain.

    OOC: Perception check 1d20(4)+13= 17
    Spasseltock Nimblefingers kender CN (with good tendencies) Rogue/13, Handler/ 8
    Shayle Wist'lya Bothan Noble 3/Scoundrel 1/Scout 3/Infiltrator 2 Star Wars: Dawn of Defiance
    Evelyn Morningory Aasimar Warpriest of Sarenrae 2 Wrath of the Righteous
    Virgil Halard Human Ranger 4/Fighter 2/Rogue 2/Knight of the Lily 1 Hourglass in the Sky

  10. #180
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    .
    Last edited by Minion; 04-14-2017 at 12:52 PM.

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