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Thread: Carteeg's Age of Mortals Campaign

  1. #1
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    Default Carteeg's Age of Mortals Campaign

    Right from the start I want to put in a warning. This journal will contain silliness, crassness, contradictions, anachronisms, and characters occasionally making references to game mechanics. Not all of this is my doing personally, but what the hey. It is all in good (or at least chaotic neutral) fun.

    The Sylvan Key
    For fun we grabbed three characters we had been using for years and reset them to level 1 for this adventure. They were pissed, especially the one that was an ex-divinity.... but tough for her. One original character was made before being added to the group. We pity him.

    Characters:
    Arden - Human Fighter (CG) - Although not the brightest or quickest guy, he is actually very wise to the cliches of adventuring. He knows that if in the middle of a dark encampment and you hear a twig snap in the darkness, it will be a victim of some attack or friend if you fire at crossbow at them before they come into the camp light, and it will be a dangerous monster if you wait for it to get close enough. (Quote: "Consider our luck.")

    Luziann - Human(ish) Rogue (N) - She grew up adventuring with Arden, and although she is fond of him, she also couldn't handle living the adventuring life that seemed to surround him. Getting away from him for a while she found a normal life running a shop selling food and various other items (Produce 'n Things). Unfortunately she still on occasion gets sucked up into adventures and realizes that when away from her shop, she needs to suck it up and complete the adventure... or else circumstances will force her back into the action, usually at a detriment. (Quote: "Oh gods. What now?")

    Whifflenut Footwise - Kender Sorcerer (CG... or CN... or C...something... depends on the moment I guess) - Finding the loss of levels really neat since it makes everything a challenge, Whifflenut has truly adopted the guise of a True Kender to the point where she's not sure if she is faking it anymore. She was afflicted, or at least she really thought she was. (Quote: "I can't wait to get that anvil spell back.")

    Peādārr Cairfhionn - Qualinesti Mystic (CG) - Although a new character, he also lost levels to participate in this adventure. He was a 20th level mystic dealing with a 5th level jerk who should had been no problem. The sudden unexplained level drop occurred, and he got his butt handed to him. (Quote: "I was starting to wonder that myself." - usually said after Luz asking "Why I am still here?")


    The story begins... sorta:

    The other three begin their adventure outside of Pashin finding a badly bloodied Peādārr barely conscious on the side of the road. Frustrated at suddenly losing so much of her skills and not being in her nice comfortable shop in Piooma, Luziann just walks by him.

    Arden tries to help the elf, and he is thanked (Luziann is sworn at). After getting his story of how his mystical abilities were drained for no reason, Whifflenut puts two and two together and declares that they must be at the beginning of a major adventure that requires them to start off from scratch. She judges by the moons that they are on Krynn, and that they should head for the nearest town to start things off.

    Luziann: "You can't be serious?"

    Whifflenut: "Four people starting at level one: a fighter, a rogue, a spellcaster, and a healer suddenly group together for no reason in a strange place. What do you think is happening?"

    Luziann swears and starts heading off towards town.

    (to be continued... or at least begun)
    "A payment. My life will simply be a payment. But only when all are free... My fault."
    - The Prophet, as recorded from testimony in FyxZharar, 431 AD

    All must prepare. The Prophet has entered the war.

    Projects (Dragonlance, and Non-DL):
    "The Dying Towers of Ryst: An Achanian Tale"
    "Chef Nightly" (iOS/Android)
    The Adlatum Project - Sourcebook Available
    Art of Psycha Durmont

  2. #2
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    This is hysterical. I hope you keep up with this campaign journal. The breaking of the proverbial fourth wall and cliche references reminds me of the Gamers movie.

  3. #3
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    The Sylvan Key (Day 1)

    The group of four limps (due to many damaged egos) into Pashin when they... (stop me if you've heard this one before) see some drunkard harassing two kender: a little girl and her father.

    Whifflenut: "Oh look! This must be the start of the adventure!" She bolts off to meddle. Luziann sighs as Arden goes to see what's going on. Luz and Peādārr (whom Arden keeps calling 'Peter') follow.

    Whifflenut asks the drunk why he's yelling at the kender, and he tells her that the girl had stole his money pouch. The girl denies this, but he says that she was there when he lost it and points out that she's a kender. "What does that have to do with anything?" she asked.

    He blinks. "Hey.... yur ah kenndr...."

    She sighs. "I see where this is going." She pulls out her dagger and tries to stab the much larger man. Considering her size modifier, her strength, and the fact her rolls stink, she realizes that her knife is actually made of rubber. (Remember the flexibility of Droopy Dogs blades and that's essentially the attacks she had. - *boing* *boing* *boing* *boing* *plink* *plink* *plink* *plink* *boing* *boing* *boing* *boing* ). The drunkard stands there getting uhh... stabbed... over and over without skin (or his shirt) ever breaking.

    After about 15 seconds of him just watching (and the others pulling their own weapons out.. including the jerks two friends) he tries to punch her. He misses. Fight fight fight. The guys are dropped quickly. Just as the kender thank them, Whifflenut suddenly (and to her non-fearful horror) realizes she now only has four hit points.

    "This is stupid! I'm a mage! Am I supposed to be 25% closer to death just because I got a paper cut?"

    Peādārr: "But you weren't hurt," he said bleeding.
    Arden: "Yeah. I got three hit points of damage myself."
    Whifflenut frowns: "How many do you have?"
    Arden: "Nine. Twelve max."
    Whifflenut punches him in the side. The impact causes Arden to grunt slightly, and Whifflenut shatters her hand. "OH COME ON!"

    The two kender finish thanking them and walk away from the strange people. They leave the area before the dark knight guards show up, and Peādārr goes around to heal the group up.

    Arden: "No need, Pete. I'm not hurt that bad."
    Whifflenut: "<insert 7-letter explitive here>!"

    To be continued.... unfortunately.
    Last edited by Carteeg_Struve; 08-17-2008 at 12:03 PM.
    "A payment. My life will simply be a payment. But only when all are free... My fault."
    - The Prophet, as recorded from testimony in FyxZharar, 431 AD

    All must prepare. The Prophet has entered the war.

    Projects (Dragonlance, and Non-DL):
    "The Dying Towers of Ryst: An Achanian Tale"
    "Chef Nightly" (iOS/Android)
    The Adlatum Project - Sourcebook Available
    Art of Psycha Durmont

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    The Sylvan Key (Days 1 & 2)

    The group gets a room for the night (Luz has to chip in for Arden's cut because he's broke). While in the inn they hear that the Herald is coming to town in the morning. They learn he's some famous bard, and Arden (who is already convinced Whif is right about the coming adventure) wonders if this was some important plot point. Luziann wonders why she is still here. Peādārr agrees. They get some sleep after Whifflenut and Arden guess that the adventure will have to be about them finding some important item or something. ("But it couldn't be a ring, because magic rings are overdone.")

    Whifflenut: "Tomorrow we'll go and try to find the bracelet." They sleep.

    When they wake up in the morning, and a large crowd has massive outside of the inn where a stage has been set up.

    Luziann: "Figures...."

    After breakfast they go out just as the Herald's performance begins.

    Luziann: "Figures...."

    The Herald introduces himself on-stage and the crowd starts making request for stories.

    Whifflenut: "I wanna hear a story about Raistlin! You know, that guy everybody has a real big crush over and thinks has a really hot bod even though nobody knows why...." The crowd quiets and stares at her, but she continues on ignorant of the silence. "... since he's supposed to be all scrawny and sick and stuff and had a thing for blind chicks.... But don't tell anything about Tanis, because he was a putz." She notices everybody is staring at her. Luz covers her eyes with her hand. "What?" asked Whifflenut.

    "I," the Herald stammered, "will not tell a story about Tanis." He goes on to tell a story about the War of Souls and how the Dark Knights were really ineffectual.

    Luziann looks around the crowd and notices the negative atmosphere. "He... doesn't realize what audience he has, does he?"

    Peādārr: "Uh no."

    Luziann: "We should get out of here before-"

    A riot breaks out.

    Luziann sighs.

    A tomato hits the Herald in the head (even though it is off-season for tomatoes.) And a group goes to beat the crap out of him. A bunch of thugs turn on the group because they apparently needed the XP.

    Fight. Fight. Fight.

    The Herald is dragged off by the so-called heroes. He regains consciousness and rambles off the line: "It was my dream of you that has led me here. The sylvan key that is meant for you has fallen into the hands of the enemy!"

    Dead silence for a beat.

    Arden: "Was this the first time he's been hit in the head?"

    He explains they need to find the key that is not a key.

    Luziann: "What is it?"
    Herald: "I don't know."
    Luziann: "What does it look like?"
    Herald: "I don't know."
    Luziann: "For somebody who's lived thousands of lives you don't seem to know much."
    Peādārr: "Where is it?"
    Herald: "It is in the hands of a criminal named Pegrin and his band."
    Peādārr: "Where are they?"
    Herald: "I don't know."

    The group debates on what to do, and after a bit they ask the Herald if he has anymore useful information.

    Herald: "Nope. That's about it."
    Whifflenut: "Okay. He's given his plot exposition. You can go now."
    Herald: "Thank you." He tries to leave.
    Whifflenut yells at the nearby mob: "HEY MOB! HE'S OVER HERE!"
    The Herald's screams are lost in the throng as the heroes walk off.

    Luziann: "How are we going to find this thing we don't know what it is when we don't even know where this band of crooks are?"

    Whifflenut: "It's probably a music box." She's ignored.

    Arden walks off to a random person in the road: "Do you know where Pegrin and his cronies are?"

    (Gather Information check made)
    Random NPC: "Probably in that well guarded camp outside of town."

    Arden walks back to the group. "There ya go."

    Luziann grinds her teeth.

    To be continued.... although I don't know why.
    Last edited by Carteeg_Struve; 04-17-2009 at 02:54 PM.
    "A payment. My life will simply be a payment. But only when all are free... My fault."
    - The Prophet, as recorded from testimony in FyxZharar, 431 AD

    All must prepare. The Prophet has entered the war.

    Projects (Dragonlance, and Non-DL):
    "The Dying Towers of Ryst: An Achanian Tale"
    "Chef Nightly" (iOS/Android)
    The Adlatum Project - Sourcebook Available
    Art of Psycha Durmont

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    Dragonlance meets Order of the Stick. Priceless.
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    "Hey look! I'm the Code of Conduct! Check me out!" -The Code of Conduct

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    The Sylvan Key (Day 2)

    As they hike out into the woods, Luziann asks, "Why are we doing this again?"
    Arden: "Well, this is the adventure. We need to find this thing."
    Whifflenut: "Music box."
    Luziann: "Earlier you said it was a bracelet."
    Whifflenut: "No, I didn't. It's a music box."
    Peādārr: "Shouldn't we come up with a plan to get this thing?"
    Whifflenut: "Music box."
    Peādārr: "We don't know how many people may be guarding this camp."
    Whifflenut: "Several dozen."
    Luziann: "And you know this how?"
    Arden: "Because we've reached the camp."

    Looking up they see the many guards and the tents around the bonfire. Before they are seen they very quickly duck back into the forest.

    Arden: "We're all first level. How are we going to take down this many guys?"
    Peādārr: "We can't. We should sneak in, find the key-"
    Whifflenut: "Music box."
    Peādārr: "-, and sneak back out."
    Arden: "So who should do it?"
    Whifflenut: "Oh gee. The one with the ability to sneak." And before everybody could look at her, she focuses her gaze on Luziann.
    Luziann: "You're kidding. Oh, come on. Which tent should I search? I can't go into every one."
    Whifflenut: "Go into the largest tent. The leader guy probably has all the good stuff, and he'd have the biggest tent."
    Luziann: "And the guards."
    Whifflenut: "We'll make a distraction."
    Luziann curses their existence and heads off.

    Over the next several minutes the remaining group begins to argue about what to do next, working out the details of the distraction. Peādārr states they should go to the other side of the camp to pull everyone away from Luz. Arden argues that they should move off at an angle so that just in case they figure out it is a distraction, them just going off in the opposite direction won't help. Whifflenut complains that she can't do much because she still only has four hit points.

    Whiff: "HEY! GUARDS! OVER HERE!"

    The guards fail their listen check.

    The group falls back to their arguing. This goes on for a bit until Whifflenut wonders how long Luziann has been waiting for the distraction. Then they are overheard by two of the guards who come to curiously investigate the sounds of people yelling at each other.

    Arden: "Oops."

    The group quickly jumps on the guards before they can alert the others. Peādārr is hurt and heals himself. Arden is hurt a little but not majorly. Whifflenut had one of the guards step on her foot for massive damage (1 hit point which puts her in critical condition). She swears at her number of hit points again.

    Arden: "Well, that's two down. How many more does Luziann have to deal with?"
    Whifflenut: "Three dozen." Whifflenut goes off to help cause more of a distraction. "You wait here."

    Whiff moves closer and taunts two more guards after her (taunted to the point where they don't raise alarms for a single kender). She lures them into the woods, and continuing to taunt them, has them running around the trees after her.

    Further into the woods -
    Peādārr: "Wait... I think I see her up there."
    Arden: "Shouldn't she had lured them all the way back to us?"
    They look at each other for a moment, THEN charge up to aid her.

    Everyone gets badly hurt, and Peādārr is low on healing spells.
    Arden: "Well, we survived."
    Whifflenut: "Yeah... but I think Luziann might still be waiting for a distaction."

    -in the camp-
    Luziann sits outside of Pegrin's tent in a shadow wondering where the **** (there are capital letters under those astricks) the others are.


    -in the woods-
    Whifflenut sighs. "One minute." She heads into the camp through the gap in the defenses, grabs a stick of wood from the bonfire, lights two of the tents on fire, then screams "FIRE!!!!!!" She does neglect to run before everyone comes out of the tents. Then she runs.

    They chase her into the woods, where she successfully hides. Unfortunately, the bandits run by her and straight towards the injured Peādārr and Arden.

    The two bolt. Arden gets good speed overall, and Peādārr quickly climbs up a tree. Since Pegrin and troop initially set out to deal with tent fires, they don't have their crossbows with them. Peādārr laughs at them from high up above.

    Then Cole, the spellcaster, steps forward.

    Peādārr swears just before he is knocked out by magic missile.

    Arden realizes that Peādārr is no longer with him, and he charges back to nail the spellcaster before a second spell could completely take Peādārr out. (Cole remains unconscious but quiet on the ground... until Arden kicks him in the head.) Whifflenut hears the mess and tries to help.

    Fight. Fight. Fight.

    -in the camp-
    Meanwhile, Luziann does some kick arse rolls and completely loots Pegrin's tent. She breaks into the chest, and she also finds the music box. "Son of a...." She grabs everything and starts heading out.

    -in the woods-
    Arden and Whiff take out everyone with Pegrin, but Pegrin knocks Arden out. Peādārr lies still up in the tree, unable to do anything. Luz shows up just in time to see Arden drop. Putting the loot to the side, she sneaks around and backstabs the raging Pegrin.

    Fight. Fight. Fight.

    Just before Arden bleeds to death, Luz uses a potion of 'Cure Light' to partially heal him. Pegrin drops his weapon on a critical fumble, and goes in punching in his rage. At the same moment, Pegrin nails Luz from behind. She is knocked unconscious just as Arden regards consciousness. Whifflenut, with one hit point left and no spells, critically hits Pegrin with her rubber knife. The big-bad-guy drops.

    A badly injured Whifflenut sneaks back into the camp to raid the rest of the stuff. Arden finds the remaining curing potion and prevents Luz from dying. Peādārr is carefully lowered halfway down the tree. The rest of the way was done much faster.

    The group gets together, gathers their things, and slowly heads back.

    Peādārr asks Arden: "How badly injured are you?"
    Arden: "Three hit points."
    Whifflenut: "Shut up!"
    Arden: "Please. Three hit points for me is like one for you. I've lost nine hit points."
    Whifflenut: "I only have four TOPS!"
    Arden: "Well you should have had a higher constitution score!"
    Whifflenut: "I have a good constitution score!"
    Peādārr: "What's your Con Modifier?"
    Whifflenut: "Plus 2."
    Peādārr: "You're supposed to add that to your hit points. You should have six hit points. Not four."
    Whifflelnut: "............................... SHUT UP!"

    And thus our heroes (barely) survived The Sylvan Key.

    Somewhere Gellidus is not worried.
    Last edited by Carteeg_Struve; 08-17-2008 at 02:02 PM.
    "A payment. My life will simply be a payment. But only when all are free... My fault."
    - The Prophet, as recorded from testimony in FyxZharar, 431 AD

    All must prepare. The Prophet has entered the war.

    Projects (Dragonlance, and Non-DL):
    "The Dying Towers of Ryst: An Achanian Tale"
    "Chef Nightly" (iOS/Android)
    The Adlatum Project - Sourcebook Available
    Art of Psycha Durmont

  7. #7
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    (Just about caught up)

    Key of Destiny (Day 3 & 4)

    The group, not bothering to find out if there was a church in town where they could get quickly healed up at, lounges around in their inn room for the day and just let Peādārr cast his spells the following day.

    The following day the group heads downstairs for breakfast and debate what to do next. They learn from one of the other guests that the Dark Knights are trying to enforce martial law over the city due to the riot at the Herald's performance (which they themselves had a hand in starting).

    Arden: "So, this town is under a dictatorship?"
    NPC: "Sorta. The mayor hasn't left his place in months. The dark knights came in after they lost Silvanesti."
    Arden: "Why? What happened there?" The group starts at him. "What?"
    Luziann: "Didn't you listen to the Herald's story?"
    Arden: "Not really... why? Was it plot exposition?"
    Whifflenut nods to him.
    Luziann: "The dark elves took over the place."
    Peādārr: "Dark knights."
    Luziann: "Dark knights. Whatever. The dark knights took over and then the minotaurs pushed them out."

    Peādārr is also warned to be careful. The dark knights won't be that kind to him because of what happened with the Silvanesti. (The fact he's Qualinesti won't matter to them.)

    The group heads out into town, debating where to go. Whifflenut makes comments about how cute a dark knight's butt is even though it is covered in armor. Arden drags her off before they're arrested. Suddenly a guy with a covered chain shirt and sword runs out of a nearby building in a massive hurry.

    Whifflenut: "I didn't think breakfast was that bad."
    Luziann: "That wasn't our inn."
    The building explodes.
    Whifflenut: "Good thing."

    They are knocked to the group taking minor damage. The man who ran out of the building was thrown on top of her.

    Whifflenut: "Ow. Your sword is in my stomach."
    Guy: "Sorry." He rolls off of her. "I need to get out of here before the guards come. I-"
    Peādārr doesn't wait for monologue and grabs his arm: "Alright. Let's go."
    Guy: "Uh...."
    Whifflenut: "Give me a moment. I only have four hit points!"
    Peādārr: "Six! And you leveled!"

    They head off into an alleyway. The group is 100% oblivious to being followed, and the guys two sons catch up to them before anybody notices. In the argument, the father explains that he had to blow up the amunitions depot.

    Son: "Where did you get an explosive that big?"
    Father: "Uhhh... the Legion supplied it."
    Son: "....... You probably tripped a booby trap."
    The father reddens and hands a Legion medallion to the group, telling them his name Jacob and to go to Old Omar's Oddities and speak to the half-ogress Klaudia for a reward. The kids drag their father off.

    Five minutes later they realize they have no idea where this place is.

    Whifflenut excitedly: "It's probably in a sewer!"
    Peādārr: "What?"
    Whifflenut: "Adventures in towns always involve sewers."
    Peādārr: "It's not a sewer. He said it was a store."

    Ten seconds after that they realize they forget the name of the store.

    Arden: "It had O's in it."
    Whifflenut: "That narrows it down."
    Arden: "It was like Odd Oddities or something like that."
    Whifflenut: "YOU FORGOT!"
    Arden: "I remember more than you!" He sighs and once back in the street asks a passerby if they knew of a shop named "Odd Oddities or something like that."
    Whifflenut calls out: "And it's run by a half-ogre woman. See! I knew more! "
    Girl: "You mean Old Omar's Oddities."
    Arden to Whiff: "HA!!!"
    The woman gives directions.


    They find the store and hand the medallion over to Klaudia, telling her what happened. She looks a little confused over the severity of the explosion, but rewards them for their help with some money, armor, and a new sword. Arden grabs the armor and goes into the changing room to try it on. Whiff grabs the money, and Luz takes the sword. Peādārr uses some of the money to buy a few things. Whiff gets a new blank spellbook. Arden takes forever trying on the new armor.

    Arden: "I'M HAVING TROUBLE WITH THE STRAPS!"
    Luziann: "It's a chain shirt! It doesn't have any straps!"
    Arden: "Oh... then what the..." His voice trails off before he steps out and sells his old armor. And they head out.


    Luziann: "At least we weren't badly hurt this time."
    Arden: "We were scraped up by the blast."
    Whifflenut: "And I got squished. But I don't think I was cut by anything."
    Arden: "Well, you are bleeding."
    Whifflenut: "But I wasn't....." She looks down. "Oh. It's that time I guess."
    The rest of the group stays quiet as they head back out into street..... Then they realize that having a kender with the ability to taunt in the middle of the low point of a certain cycle when they are surrounded by dark knights is not a safe situation.

    After dragging mouth covered an ill-tempered kender off a ways, they hear a rumble. Rats start bursting out of a nearby sewer entrence.

    Whifflenut: "See! I knew the sewers were involved in this!"
    Peādārr: "What?"
    Whifflenut: "It's the sewers! They're attacking!"
    Luziann: "I've had enough of this. The sewers are not-"
    A blast of scalding hot water errupts out sewer. Everybody ducks out of the water unharmed.
    Whifflenut smirks at Luziann.
    Luziann: "Shut up."

    At this point, in the crowded street, Peādārr sees an old crone in thick black robes standing in an alleyway and directs the groups attention towards her.

    Whifflenut: "Wow. It's Raistlin!"

    The seemingly blind woman sees them and throws herself at the feet of the group. She reaches out, grabbing Whiff's leg. "That's my crotch." She GRABS WHIFF'S LEG. "Nope. Still my crotch." And pulls herself up to Whifflenut's face and hisses:

    "The stars are set into motion, a plan both cunning and divine; beware of specters in the night, beware of unseen designs; the key you hold, others desire; protect yourself from obsession's fire!" She screams and falls backwards. She suddenly is surrounded in blue-white fire and explodes.

    The group stands there with the typical WTF expression on their faces. Of course, Whifflenut is the first one to snap out of it.

    "I'm covered in old lady spew."

    The crowd stares at them.
    "They killed her!"
    "Murderers!"
    "They killed my auntee!"
    "Call the watch!"

    Luziann: "What just happened?"
    Peādārr: "I have no idea."
    Whifflenut continues wiping the spew off: "Eww."
    Luziann: "I hear the guards coming. We need to get out of here."
    Peādārr: "Agreed."
    Whifflenut: "This is disguisting. She spat in my face when she talked!"
    Arden slowly snaps out of it: "Did.... she ex.. plode?"
    Whifflenut: "Very good, Arden. Have a Twinkee."
    Arden blinks and takes the yellow sponge treat: "Oh. Thanks."
    Luziann pulls on his arm and leads the group out of the panicked throngs. "Come on."

    To be continued after the next session.
    Last edited by Carteeg_Struve; 08-17-2008 at 08:54 PM.
    "A payment. My life will simply be a payment. But only when all are free... My fault."
    - The Prophet, as recorded from testimony in FyxZharar, 431 AD

    All must prepare. The Prophet has entered the war.

    Projects (Dragonlance, and Non-DL):
    "The Dying Towers of Ryst: An Achanian Tale"
    "Chef Nightly" (iOS/Android)
    The Adlatum Project - Sourcebook Available
    Art of Psycha Durmont

  8. #8
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    Key of Destiny - Day 4 & start of 5

    Peādārr listens to the clanking boots of the approaching knights. "Yeah. We should really be leaving." At which point he notices the other three party members have long since already started running. He sighs. "You could at least had waited for me."

    Whifflenut get good distance sliding on the excess old lady spew she is covered with. Unfortunately, she runs out quickly and falls into Luziann. Luz doesn't fall, but Whiff slows her down by holding onto her leg. Arden continues on at a moderate rate, and Peādārr catches up.

    Before the dark knights can catch up, a black cloaked figure from an alleyway calls to them.

    Whifflenut: "RAISTLIN!"

    He pulls back his hood revealing himself to be a blond elf.

    Whifflenut is disappointed: "Oh, it's only Dalamar."

    Elf: "If you want to get out of here, follow me."
    Arden: "Shouldn't that be 'Come with me if you want to live?'"
    Luziann: "Shut up."

    An explosion is heard in the distance.
    Whifflenut: "Another old woman blew up?"
    Elf: "That will be my friends causing a distraction."
    Whifflenut: "YOU blew up ANOTHER old woman?"

    The elf tells them he was instructed to bring them to Shaylin. He casts a spell to hide them from the guards. "Stay close and you will remain hidden from sight. Be silent now..." Luziann instantly covers Whifflenut's mouth. "... we must sneak past many guards." Luziann also covers Whifflenut's nose. The kender passes out and things go smoothly as they slip into the sewers.

    In the sewers they spend the next ten minutes resuscitating the kender.

    Whifflenut: "I don't like her anymore."
    Luziann: "It was an accident.... really. I didn't even have her nose covered that long."
    Peādārr: "Four minutes."
    Luziann: "Ten seconds."
    Peādārr: "It took longer than ten seconds for us to climb down the ladder into the sewer."
    Luziann: "That's why I just dropped her."
    Elf: "Be quiet. There are many unfriendly things in this sewer."
    Whifflenut: "I really don't like her anymore."
    Luziann: "You didn't like me before!"
    The goblins in the sewer look up, see the noisy group, screech and run off for re-enforcements.
    The elf sighs. "We need to leave."
    Whifflenut: "Let's go back up to the streets."
    The group stares at her.
    Elf: "We need to go another direction. They'll come back with friends."
    Whifflenut: "Then we can have a party!"
    Elf blinks: "You're not the brightest kender in the world, are you?"
    Whifflenut frowns and pulls out her dagger: "I meant a party with swords and daggers."
    Arden: "You have spells too."
    Whifflenut suddenly remembers that: "Yeah, but............ SHUT UP!"

    The group quickly moves through the sewers away from where they were spotted.
    Peādārr: "Well, it looks like she was right about the sewers."
    Whifflenut: "What do you mean?"
    Peādārr: "The sewers... attacking."
    Whifflenut: "There's nothing wrong with the sewers."
    Luziann: "You mean other than the flood of rats and the scalding steam."
    Whifflenut: "Maybe it was a bad day."

    The group is led to a secret door before the goblins can catch up. There is a sign on the wall that reads "Secret Door".
    Luziann: "Not very secretive is it."
    Peādārr hurriedly pulls half the sign down.
    The elf opens the door and ushers everyone in. Whifflenut is the last to enter and 'fixes' the rest of the sign. The secret door closes after she enters the elven colony.

    The ceiling is covered with magic orbs giving the "Hogwarts" feel that the ceiling is really the night sky. Whifflenut states: "Those aren't magic orbs. Those are glowy worms."

    Luziann: "Those aren't worms."
    Whifflenut: "Yes they are. See. One fell in your hair."
    Luziann screams and tries to get it out.

    An elven woman, Shaylin, seemingly glides towards them. (Whifflenut figures she must be wearing roller-skates under her dress.)

    Shaylin: "Welcome to..."
    Luziann continues screaming trying to get rid of the worms. Whifflenut looks over the elves and severely wishes she had a "Wash" spell.

    After some hospitality and Shaylin going into a trance and blabbering on about something nobody in the group paid attention to, everyone is given a spot to rest in.

    During the night, Whifflenut can't abide the smell any longer. She strings the elves up and sets the colony on fire, purifying everything. A few minutes later she wakes to discover it was just a dream. She gets up and tries to find some rope to get started again. Peādārr stops her and forces her to go back to sleep.

    In the morning, Shaylin sets the group ready to escape Pashin, giving them Naelathan (the elf from earlier) as they're guide. Shaylin apologies for her long monologue and admits she wishes games had a more dynamic way of presenting conversation and plot points than long structured narratives the players are supposed to shut up and be quiet through. She finishes reading her cue cards: "Your journey will be long and difficult, but remember that the gods never present us with problems that we cannot resolve." (Luziann scornfully laughs.) "Do not doubt your own strengths." (Whifflenut scornfully laughs.) "And remember it is better to light a single flame than to curse the darkness."

    Whifflenut then goes into a long debate with her in regards to casting curse spells at darkness. Arden: "I think she just meant like swearing at it."
    Whifflenut: "Then why not just say it's better to light a candle than swear at the darkness!?"
    Luziann: "She was trying to be poetic."
    Whifflenut: "Oh please. Poetry is over the head of most players."
    Shaylin rolls her eyes and walks away. Whifflenut notices her walking and asks what happened to the roller-skates."
    Shaylin: "The axles broke."

    Before they leave Peādārr inquires: "Wait. Won't the goblins be looking for us out there?"
    Whifflenut: "Nope. I fixed that."

    -scene cut-

    The goblins hunting the party last night reach the location of the secret door sign. The torn off half of the sign has been duct taped back up with the words "This is not a" scratched above it.

    Goblin Leader: "'This is not a Secret Door.'... Okay. Continue on."
    Goblin Follower: "But... are you sure?"
    Goblin Leader: "Look. Obviously someone checked out this area before and put the sign up. Let's move."
    Goblin Follower: "But all of the footprints lead right to this stop them vanish. See, there's even a few prints partially embedded into the wall. There's a heel."
    Goblin Leader: "Must be a trick of some sort. All the more reason why the sign is important. Continue on!"
    They leave.

    -end scene cut-

    Luziann blinks: "That was an odd aside."
    Naelathan: "This way." He smirks as he runs ahead.
    Whifflenut: "HEY! WAIT!" They bolt after him.

    At another secret passage, Naelathan opens the way. "There you go. Enjoy."
    Whifflenut looks into the darkness: "You're leading us to our deaths. Aren't you?"
    Naelathan snickers and leaves.
    Whifflenut sighs: "Okay. Who wants to go to their death first?"
    Arden shrugs and heads in.
    Luziann follows: "At least we're leaving the sewers."
    Whifflenut: "Yeah. You'll no longer be having all of those worms in your hair."
    Luziann: "I don't have any worms in my hair anymore."
    Arden glances back: "Yeah. Those are spiders."
    Luziann screams.

    While in the tunnel, Whifflenut realizes she has no candle, so she tries cursing at the darkness.
    The darkness' feelings are hurt. It sniffs whimpers, and leaves.
    Whifflenut feels guilty. "Wait! I'm sorry!"
    Arden: "I guess it really was better to light a candle."
    Whifflenut is now depressed.

    Finally they exit a cave and see the rising sun on the horizon.
    Whifflenut: "Great! Now we're out in east bum-*CENSOR* and we have no idea which direction is which!"
    Peādārr: "Umm... the sun is rising."
    Whifflenut: "Your point?"
    Peādārr pauses a beat: "Have a Twinkee."

    To be concluded..... but not until many unfortunate more continues first.
    Last edited by Carteeg_Struve; 03-15-2009 at 11:37 AM.
    "A payment. My life will simply be a payment. But only when all are free... My fault."
    - The Prophet, as recorded from testimony in FyxZharar, 431 AD

    All must prepare. The Prophet has entered the war.

    Projects (Dragonlance, and Non-DL):
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  9. #9
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    Key of Destiny: Chapter 2 - A Long Day 5 & Up to Day 8

    After leaving the cave, the witless adventurers didn't realize the adventure hadn't been completed yet. So they went off in various different directions to live their own lives. However, since this campaign requires a bit of railroading and the exact day was set, the sun never set and the day was forced to continue on until everyone got their arses back to the front of the cave to continue on properly!

    To make matters worse, other situations arose to force them to come back. Arden went on 50 adventures but never gained any XP. Whifflenut had nothing happen to her, and she became very bored. Peādārr was taken prisoner by the minotaurs of the Silvanesti forest and tortured. Eventually he escaped and returned back to the cave entrance to find Luziann and Arden waiting.

    Arden sees Peādārr's bruises and cuts: "What happened to you?"
    Peādārr sneers: "I'm not going to be some cow's ***** anymore! That's what happened! How about you?"
    Arden: "Lots of adventure. Nothing to show for it."
    Luziann: "Also figured out I needed to finish this campaign too, even though we have no idea where to go from here."
    Peādārr: "I'm surprised to see you back. What happened to you?"
    Luziann: "Minotaurs."
    Peādārr sighs and nods.
    Luziann: "Nice group of people once you figure out how to deal with them. I ran into a town in the forest south of here. I was able to set up a nice trading business in one of their outposts. The cash flow was great."
    Peādārr grinds his teeth.
    Arden: "Well, at least you have more money for this trip. That should make things easier."
    Peādārr: "Good, she can pay for everything."
    Luziann: "Not really. I only figured out the cause of the halt in time a few days ago. By that point I had locked most of my money into starting an IRA account."
    The two of them stare at her.
    Arden blinks confused: "You.... founded a terrorist group?"
    Luziann rolls her eyes.
    Peādārr: "Then why did you come back?"
    Luziann: "No time was passing. Couldn't accrue interest."
    Peādārr bangs his head on the cave rock.
    Luziann: "Once Whifflenut gets back we can figure out where to go from here."
    Whifflenut's voice echos up distantly from the cave: "Almost there!"
    Arden: "Hey Whiff!"
    Whifflenut (more distant): "...hi, Arden."
    Luziann: "This Way!"
    Whifflenut (even more distant): "...oh....... Coming!"
    Luziann: "You're doing good. We're outside of the cave."
    Whifflenut: "ok."
    Luziann: "THIS WAY!"
    Whifflenut: "Thank you."

    (ten minutes later)
    Whiff comes out. "Finally!"
    Luziann: "Great. We can get started. Did that insane elf woman leave us anything?"
    Peādārr: "Yeah. Whifflenut put it all in her pack."
    Whifflenut: "I did?"
    Peādārr: "...yes."
    Whifflenut: "Oh... I didn't think we were going to need any of that stuff. I'll go get it!"

    (two non-days later)
    Whifflenut's voice echos up distantly from the cave: "Almost back!"
    Luziann: "About time!"
    Whifflenut: "...almost there."
    Luziann: "THIS WAY!!!!!"

    (forty-three minutes later)
    Whifflenut: "which way again...?"

    (seventeen minutes later)
    Whifflenut comes out of the cave: "Finally! You guys should stand still more often. It's tough to track you down."
    Peādārr prevents Luziann from drawing her sword.
    Arden: "So where's the pack?"
    Whifflenut: "The what?"
    They stare at her.
    Whifflenut snaps her fingers: "I knew I forgot something." She heads back into the cave.

    (five non-days later)
    Luziann: "This is getting insane."
    Whifflenut's voice echos up distantly from the cave: "....hello....?"
    Luziann sighs: "WE'RE UP-"
    Whifflenut: "HI!"
    Luziann jumps back from the cave with a yelp.
    Whifflenut holds the bag up: "Got it!"
    They start opening the pack.
    Whifflenut: "I had already sold most of it though. I didn't think we were going to need it."
    Luziann: "Wait, I think I see a map Shaylin gave us." She grabs it.
    Whifflenut: "Oh yeah. I was using that for toilet paper."
    Luziann freezes, and then tosses it to Peādārr.
    Peādārr sighs: "She was tearing off in pieces. She didn't use it and then put it back! Which pieces did you use?"
    Whifflenut: "Nothing important. Just the part with words."
    Peādārr: "Figures."
    Luziann to Whifflenut: "Please don't do that."
    Whifflenut: "I'm just trying to keep it entertaining for the readers."
    Luziann: "What readers?"
    Whifflenut: "Ummm.... no one."
    Luziann freezes again: "IS SOMEONE LOGGING THIS!?!?!"
    Arden looks over Peādārr's shoulder at the map: "Does it have anything useful?"
    Peādārr unfolds the map and only sees an arrow going from the cave mouth to a place call 'Hurim'. Over the arrow are big red words written in: "Go this way dumb asses. -Shaylin"
    Whifflenut: "There are dumb asses that way?"
    Luziann: "And in all honesty, I think Shaylin's right. Let's go."

    Two days later...

    They enter the deeper parts of the Khurish desert. As the Key of Destiny adventure says: "A famous bard once described a Khurish night sky as 'a polished bowl of obsidian, dusted with a glittering spray of diamond dust'."

    Whifflenut: "What famous bard?"
    Arden shrugs: "I don't know. Are there any famous bards around here?"
    Luziann: "What about the Herald?"
    Arden: "Who?"
    Whifflenut picks a sand flea off Arden's butt. He jumps.
    Arden: "Don't do that."
    Whifflenut: "It's just a sand flea."
    Luziann: "You shouldn't had felt that through the armor anyway."
    Arden: "I didn't... I thought I saw her pinch my butt."
    Whifflenut: "It Was A Sand Flea!"

    In the distance they spot movement over by a rock protruding from the sand. Two figures are trying to keep themselves hidden.
    Whifflenut: "Oh look! They're not sewers. They must be friendly!" She charges off towards them.
    The rest wait behind.
    Peādārr: "This ought to be interesting."
    Luziann nods and stands there: "I know."
    Arden: "Uhhh.... what if they're not friendly? She could get hurt." He follows.
    Peādārr: "He's new to this, isn't he?"
    Luziann shakes her head: "No, he's good aligned."
    Peādārr with honest sympathy: "Oh, I'm sorry."
    Luziann: "I thought you were chaotic good?"
    Peādārr: "I shifted myself over during the break."
    Luziann: "Smart man."

    Two draconians jump out and attack Whifflenut. Against wisdom, Peādārr joins in the fight (maybe he was bored). Luziann stays out of the fight until the end, where she throws a dagger from the distance and kills the last of the two.

    Arden frowns at her: "Just one thrown dagger? That's it?"
    Luziann: "I helped."
    Arden bites his lip: "Okay.... but we get more XP from there! Right guys?"
    Peādārr: "Uhhh... I don't think it works that way anymore."
    Luziann: "One level per chapter. There's no XP."
    Arden: "WHAT!?!?!"
    Whifflenut nods.
    Arden: "Then what was the point of the random encounter? Side quest? Nothing!?!"
    Peādārr: "You can get extra money and equipment."
    Luziann: "From two lizards sitting by a rock in the middle of nowhere?"
    Arden: "It could be a trade route?"
    <silence>
    They eventually leave. Arden continues cursing.

    Eventually.....

    They hear sounds of celebration as night falls. Crossing over a dune, the... heroes find the Mikku tribe in midst of joyous revelry.

    Whifflenut pulls her dagger out: "ATTACK!"
    She charges down the slope.
    Luziann: "Whut? WAIT!"
    They catch up to her and pull her back. Two warriors guarding the perimeter watch with raised eyebrows as the kender tries to free herself from the others in order to singularly attack a camp of hundreds of people.
    Luziann laughs nervously: "Sorry. Sunstroke. We're friendly. Really."
    Peādārr: "Yep. We're gonna die."
    Whifflenut: "Slaughter them all! Eat their children! Isn't that what we're supposed to do?"
    Luziann covers the kender's mouth and nose again. Arden pulls Luziann's hand off before Whiff fully passes out. Whifflenut kicks Luziann in the shins. Luziann kicks Whifflenut in the head.
    The guards lead them into the camp without another word. Apparently they've met adventurers before.

    Once inside the camp, the tribe leader approaches. He's wearing indigo.... and leather. Whifflenut starts humming the music from a certain dance club in Police Academy. The gold and jewels he's wearing doesn't help, and the kender bursts out laughing.

    Peādārr: "Yep. We're dead."

    The tribe chief, Alakar, welcomes them to the festivities. "Please, join us! Eat, drink, and be merry. For tomorrow we all may die!"

    Peādārr: "Promise?"

    They are led in to the party. Arden instantly pulls a Caramon and heads for the food and women. Peādārr just heads for the women (and pretends to get sick from food to escape the group for a few hours). Luziann tries to enjoy herself. And Whifflenut is left to talk to Alakar.

    She shows him the map: "I think we're supposed to find dumb-asses at the end of the arrow. But since you're in the middle of the arrow and not the point, I don't think you people are the dumb-asses."

    Alakar: "Uhh... I don't think that's what she meant."

    He agrees to give them fresh supplies and access to everything at the party. In return, Whifflenut tries to bribe Alakar into taking Luziann as a wife. She haggles him down to 22 steel 5 silver, but Luziann overhears the conversation and grabs the coin, stopping the transaction.

    Alakar: "I like her. Good form and attitude."
    Whifflenut: "Maybe you could get her one of those veil thingies under her eyes to hide the face though."
    Alakar: "Good idea." He gets one of the others to hand a veil and local dress to Luziann while she's dancing. Actually enjoying herself, she puts it on and continues to dance.

    Arden approaches with a smile: "Hi there. I'm Arden."
    Luziann frowns and decks him.
    Arden, on the ground: "Oh... Hi, Luz."

    Whifflenut's night turns to the better when she 'successfully' sells Luziann to a large warrior in the tribe, Malat. Luziann and Malat enjoy the night... and Whifflenut gets 50 steel out of the deal.

    Later on, Whifflenut, Peādārr, and Arden get a tent for the night. A young girl enters the tent in the early hours. At first, Peādārr and Whifflenut think it's Luziann trying to sneak in. "You must hurry... the winds carry the voices of many spirits, and they are crying for help. You must keep the key safe, otherwise all will be lost!"

    Whifflenut chucks something at her: "Luz! Shut up! You're drunk! Let me sleep!"

    Girl: "In the temple of the betrayed, you must find the shard of light. It shall lead you on the path you have been chosen to walk."

    Peādārr sees the girl and blinks. Arden tries to respond, but the girl leaves.

    Whifflenut mutters: "Stupid, Luziann."

    Suddenly two air elements blow into the tent and attack.

    Whifflenut swears at the absent Luziann even more.

    The three are thrown around a bit and banged up, but the elementals are defeated. Luziann rushes into the tent with Malat. "What happened!?!"

    Whifflenut punches her in the face. "YOU JERK!"
    Luziann staggers back: "What the...!?!"
    Alakar bursts in: "Are you all right, my friends? What is going on?"
    He gets the story from Whifflenut.
    Then he gets the corrected story from Arden and Peādārr.
    After hearing about the girl's sparkling eyes, he inquired if they were blue?
    They nod, and he confers with the tribe's seer. The woman seems to go into a trance.
    Whifflenut: "She's not going to blow up. Is she?"
    The woman snaps out of it and says softly: "Yes, it was Uleena."
    Peādārr: "We're gonna get thrown out.... aren't we?"
    Alakar speaks sadly: "She was my daughter... a young seer learning from Asmara." He gestures to the old woman. "She died in an accident during the earthquake almost a moon ago."
    Arden sighs in relief: "Oh... well. Then it can't be her, since she's dead."
    They all stare at him.
    Arden: "Whut?"
    Whifflenut: "I was waiting for somebody to offer you a Twinkie."
    Arden: "Oh. I think we're out."
    Whifflenut: "Ho-Ho then?"
    Arden: "No thanks. I'm full."
    Whifflenut: "Had enough Ho's last night then?"
    Arden: "Yes... wait. No."
    Whifflenut smirks.
    Peādārr to Alakar: "I'm sorry we've brought this evil to you. We'll leave immediately."
    Alakar: "No. My daughter is not evil."
    Whifflenut: "Actually we meant Luziann."
    Luziann: "HEY!"
    Whifflenut: "We'll take her out of here, if you don't mind."
    Malat shrugs: "I've had my night. The 50 was worth it."
    Luziann blinks: "WHAT!?!"
    Alakar: "I'll get you some horses to continue you on your way to Hurim."
    Peādārr: "To get us away from here faster?"
    Alakar: "Oh yeah."

    Six hours later the horses continue on with the... heroes on their backs.
    Whifflenut: "Giving us the horses was really nice of them."
    Peādārr nods: "Yyyyah."
    Whifflenut: "Of course, I don't think they needed to tie us to the saddles like that."
    Luziann (blindfolded, tied up, and gagged): "MMmmm MMMM RRMMM MMMM!!!!"
    Arden: "At least you guys were tied up facing forward."
    Whifflenut: "Don't worry. I got free of my bonds hours ago."
    Arden, looking back at her, nods: "Yeah. I saw that."
    Whifflenut: "Unfortunately it wasn't before the pack horses wandered off in a different direction."
    Luziann: "WWWMMMMMMTT!"
    Whifflenut: "Maybe I should go get them."
    Peādārr: "You do that."
    Whifflenut rides off.

    To be.... getting somewhere.... maybe.... soon......... but I doubt it.
    Last edited by Carteeg_Struve; 09-14-2008 at 02:00 PM.
    "A payment. My life will simply be a payment. But only when all are free... My fault."
    - The Prophet, as recorded from testimony in FyxZharar, 431 AD

    All must prepare. The Prophet has entered the war.

    Projects (Dragonlance, and Non-DL):
    "The Dying Towers of Ryst: An Achanian Tale"
    "Chef Nightly" (iOS/Android)
    The Adlatum Project - Sourcebook Available
    Art of Psycha Durmont

  10. #10
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    Key of Destiny: Day 8, 9, 10, 11... *sigh*

    Whifflenut tracks the pack horses down, which managed to find their way back to Alacar's troupe. After a lovely conversation, Whifflenut was given extra food and water before heading back. She finished it all before returning to the others.

    Whifflenut: "Found the horses. They went back to their original owners. Nice people. They gave me scones. They were delicious."
    Luziann (still gagged and tied up): "MFFT!"
    Peādārr had managed to free himself by this point: "Can we continue on now? Please."

    Eventually they begin to approach the mesas and see the opening into a canyon far up ahead.
    Luziann: "I think we're almost there."
    Whifflenut: "How did you get freed?"
    Luziann: "Continuity error."
    Whifflenut: "Oh."

    As they approach, they hear a small voice talking in the distance near the gentle fog coming from the canyon opening.

    For the sanity of the readers, I will hide the following conversation via spoiler tags. I urge you to skip this part and read on.

      Spoiler: Don't read this 

    Whifflenut shouts towards the voice and the canyon: "HELLO?"
    Voice: "HELLO?"
    Whifflenut: "HELLO!"
    Voice: "HI!"
    Whifflenut: "HI!"
    Voice: "HELLO!"
    Whifflenut: "HELLO!"
    Voice: "HI!"
    Whifflenut: "HELLO!"
    Voice: "HELLO!"
    Whifflenut: "HI!"
    Voice: "HI!"
    Whifflenut: "HELLO!"
    Voice: "HI!"
    Whifflenut: "HELLO!"
    Voice: "HELLO!"
    Whifflenut: "HELLO!"
    Voice: "HI!"
    Whifflenut: "HI!"
    Voice: "HI!"
    Whifflenut: "HELLO!"
    Voice: "HELLO!"
    Whifflenut: "HELLO!"
    Voice: "HI!"
    Whifflenut: "HI!"
    Voice: "HELLO!"
    Whifflenut: "HELLO!"
    Voice: "HI!"
    Whifflenut: "HI! WHO'S THERE? OH SORRY! Broke pattern.... HELLO!"
    Voice: "HELLO!"
    Whifflenut: "HI!"
    Voice: "HI!"
    Whifflenut: "HELLO!"
    Voice: "HI!"
    Whifflenut: "HI!"
    Voice: "HELLO!"
    Whifflenut: "HELLO!"
    Voice: "HI!"
    Whifflenut: "HI!"


    Eventually they approach close enough to see a small figure holding onto a skull. Most of the group dismounts.
    Whifflenut: "IT'S HAMLET! Are you Hamlet?"
    The figure who had been heard before blinks. It's a kender. "Uh no."
    Whifflenut: "Oh. So that's not Horatio?"
    The kender shakes his head: "No. Horatio actually lived through the play. You're thinking of Yorick."
    Whifflenut: "THAT'S RIGHT! The jester. Hello, Yorick!"
    The kender turns to the skull: "What? Oh." He turns back to the group: "He said his name is not Yorick. It's Scuttles."
    Arden (still tied onto the horse, facing backwards, away from them): "Hi."
    Luziann sighs and cuts him off of the saddle. Arden falls to the ground, still facing out to the desert.
    Arden: "Thanks."
    Luziann: "No problem."
    Whifflenut: "I'm Whifflenut. This is the rest of the group, and those are our horses running off. I'LL GET THEM!" She runs into the desert after the horses.
    Arden (on the ground): "Shouldn't we go help her?"
    Peādārr: "She'll teleport in front of them to stop them."
    Arden blinks: "She's strong enough to do that?"
    Peādārr: "In a year or two."
    Arden: "Ah."
    Peādārr turns to the kender: "You're talking to a skull?
    Kender: "No. I'm talking to a spirit."
    Peādārr: "Through the skull."
    Kender: "Yeah."
    Peādārr: "So you're talking to the skull?"
    Kender: "No."
    Peādārr sighs: "You're able to talk to the spirit because of the skull."
    Kender: "Why are you here?"
    Peādārr sighs again: "Partially because of the kender," he said gesturing in the direction Whifflenut ran off to.
    Kender: "Does that mean I'm talking to her?"
    Peādārr gives up: "You just might be." Looking towards Arden: "I think we just traded one for another."
    Arden: "One what?"
    Peādārr is getting annoyed: "Kender!"
    Arden (still on the ground, facing the desert): "He's a kender?"
    Peādārr: "Can't you tell?" Then he realizes how Arden behaves half the time. "Nevermind."
    Luziann cuts the rest of Arden's bonds just as Whifflenut returns with the horses.
    Luziann: "How did you catch them so fast?"
    Whifflenut: "DM gift. I guess we required the supplies, so when I caught up to them they started running in circles real slow." She walks up to the new guy. "So, are you a new member of the group, or just here to give us information and leave?"
    Kender: "Uhhh... I think I'm optional."
    Whifflenut (to the group): "We've got an option! Do we want him with us?"
    Arden: "Sure!"
    Luziann looks to Peādārr and makes a slicing motion across her neck, but Peādārr misses it before he says: "Umm... alright." Thinks on it for 0.05 seconds. "I MEAN NO! NO!"
    Whifflenut: "TOO LATE!"
    Peādārr: "Well, it's up to him as well. You'll probably die a horrible death if you come with us."
    Kender: "It's okay. You're not the first group to pass by here. As an NPC I repop here every time somebody reaches this point in the campaign. I've died many times. I was even promoted to PC last time, but I was slaughtered a few more chapters in."
    Peādārr: "Don't worry. I doubt you'll last that long with us."
    Kender: "Of course it would be nice if somebody actually asked for my name."
    Whifflenut: "What's your name?"
    Kender: "Shroud."
    Whifflenut: "Shroud? Oh, I'm sorry. Who named you that?"
    Shroud: "Uhh.... Christopher Coyle I think."
    Whifflenut: "Coyle? Ew. Well, nice to meet you Shroud."

      Spoiler: yes, again 

    Shroud: "Hi."
    Whifflenut: "Hello."
    Shroud: "Hello."
    Whifflenut: "Hi."
    Shroud: "Hi."
    Whifflenut: "Hello."
    Shroud: "Hi."
    Whifflenut: "Hello."
    Shroud: "Hello."
    Whifflenut: "Hi."
    Shroud: "Hello."
    Whifflenut: "Hello."
    Shroud: "Hi."
    Whifflenut: "Hello."
    Shroud: "Hi."
    Whifflenut: "Hi."
    Shroud: "Hello."
    Arden forces Luziann to put her dagger back into its sheath.
    Peādārr tries to hang himself by casting levitate onto a length of rope he wraps around his neck. It doesn't work.



    The group heads up to where the canyon splits around a plateau with a watchtower over it.

    Arden: "Which way should we go?"
    Shroud: "Don't look at me. I'm an NPC. I'm not supposed to make decisions."
    Whifflenut looks up to Luziann. Luziann sighs: "Okay. Right."
    Whifflenut: "Then we go left!"
    Luziann grinds her teeth.

    The group enters the canyon and they sense a cold feeling over the place.

    Whifflenut: "Is this place cursed?"
    Shroud: "Oh yeah."
    Whifflenut smiles excitedly: "What kind of curse?"
    Shroud: "It likes undead stuff and things like that."

    Looking up at the watchtower, they decide its the first place to investigate.
    Arden: "How do we get up?"
    Whifflenut: "Peādārr can levitate."
    Luziann: "I thought that was a wizard spell."
    Whifflenut: "Close enough."

    Looping around a land bridge connecting the plateau with a shorter one to the north, Luziann finds a ladder. "We can get up from here!" she says when she approaches it.

    Arden notices movement from the top of the plateau. "Uh... cats!" Four mountain lions jump down towards Luziann.
    (At which point in real life one of our cats decides she is not getting enough attention and plops itself down onto my dice..... go fig.)

    Arden pulls his sword out: "Luz!"
    One of the lions chews on Luziann. Hanging from it's mouth she says calmly to the others: "A little help...."

    Fight fight fight....

    The entire group gets badly injured, but they manage to take down three of the four lions.

    Arden: "We're not doing too bad. Just one left. We can handle it."

    Two minutes later the one lion is still standing. Shroud, Luziann, and Arden are unconscious. Peādārr is down to one hit point.

    Whifflenut jumps in and kills the lion with a touch spell. "I AM THE CHAMPION!"
    Peādārr, on one knee, mutters: "We're never going to live this down." He commences healing on the party, running out of spells in the process. Shroud is barely conscious.

    Peādārr: "Now I'm out of spells. Great."
    Shroud (still heavily injured): "Maybe we need another healer."
    Peādārr gets pissed: "That's it. I quit! I'm becoming a fighter."
    Shroud: "You can't swap out class levels like that."
    Peādārr: "I don't care. My work isn't appreciated. This quest has been a nightmare. Now, all I have to do is gain fighter levels and not heal anyone."
    Shroud: "We won't have any good cure spells here. We'll all die."
    Peādārr: "Yes, but at least I'll die honest to myself."
    Shroud: "You don't mind dying?"
    Peādārr: "Actually I do, but at least I'll see the two kender go first."
    Shroud: "I don't care. I'm an NPC. I'll just repop at the front of the canyon when the next party shows up."
    Peādārr: "......................... ****!" And he gives up on his career change.

    They decide that continuing on is too dangerous at the moment, and will camp outside the canyon, outside of the curse's range. The next morning, Peādārr does more healing to the group, and they start back in.

    Shroud: "I just hope the canyon isn't an instance zone and lions reset when we re-entered the canyon."
    The group groans.

    The lions did reset, but they were bugged. The group was able to climb by them without drawing agro.

    They get up to the plateaus. Luziann gets a good look of the canyon and sees another building to the north. There is debate over which location was the real quest, and which was the side-quest. In the end, they admit they have no idea and just go to the closer one, the tower. Whifflenut runs up the steep land bridge to the watchtower. Peādārr, Arden, and Luziann make it up without a problem. Shroud slips and falls into the mist (and onto the rocks) below.

    Whifflenut: "Oops.... Shroud? You okay?"
    Silence.
    Whifflenut: "Shroud!?"
    Something stirs in the mist.
    Peādārr: "Is that him?"
    There's a belch.
    Whifflenut: "Guess not."
    Whatever is in the mist moves away.
    Peādārr: "Is it just me or has the mist gotten thicker?"
    Luziann nods.
    Peādārr: "I'm not sure we're going to want to get back down."
    Whifflenut looks up at the tower: "Hello!?"
    Nothing says 'hi'.
    Peādārr says sarcastically: "Whiff, why don't introduce us?"
    Whifflenut: "Okay. This is Peādārr! He's the cleric, who can do healing and rebuke undead."
    Luziann: "He's a mystic. Not a cleric."
    Peādārr: "I don't have a god."
    Whifflenut: "Couldn't get a sponsor?"
    Peādārr grinds his teeth.
    Luziann: "You can still turn undead, right?"
    Peādārr: "Yes."
    Whifflenut yells to the tower: "Okay! He can turn undead, even though he's not as good as a real cleric."
    Peādārr adds bitingly: "Just like how sorcerers aren't as good as real wizards?"
    Whifflenut glares back: "And this is Arden! He's the tank. You'll probably want to avoid him and go after the healer first. I'm the mage! So I'll be kleenex!"
    Arden examines the entryway: "Looks dark."
    Peādārr: "Then you go first."
    Arden: "Okay." He heads in.
    Luziann rubs her temples.

    Marching order: Arden, Whiff, Peādārr, and Luz.
    They enter an old hallway with arrow slits in the sides for defenders to easily attack any invaders.

    Peādārr sees movement through one of the holes.
    Peādārr: "I think I see something."
    Whifflenut, in front of him: "Are you watching my ***?"
    Peādārr: "What? NO!"
    Whifflenut: "So you weren't looking at me?"
    Peādārr: "Well you're standing right there in front of me."
    Luziann: "You're watching Whifflenut's ***?"
    Peādārr: "NO! I just mean she's in front of me! Where else am I supposed to look?"
    Arden: "She is short. You could just look over her."
    Peādārr: "Yeah, Arden. I want to watch your *** instead."
    Arden blinks: "You what?"

    Suddenly a shadow rushes out of the wall, strikes Peādārr hard (sapping 6 points of strength) and vanishes into the opposite wall.

    Luziann: "HOLY ****!"
    Peādārr: "Not feeling good."
    Luziann: "Back up!"
    Whifflenut: "Probably a good idea."
    Luziann: "You had to tell them to attack him first."
    Whifflenut: "Don't blame me! He's the one who saw movement!"
    Peādārr shouts from his weakened state: "This is NOT a third level encounter!"
    Luziann pulls Peādārr out of the tower.
    Whifflenut: "Maybe we should leave too."
    Arden: "Agreed."
    They retreat to the top of the small mesa.

    Luziann: "Can you heal yourself?"
    Peādārr: "I used all of my healing spells this morning."
    Luziann: "Okay. Let's rest here for the day. I don't want to press into the canyon until we're at full strength."

    That night, Whifflenut gets bored and watches the mist. "I wonder if Shroud is still down there."
    From the mist there is the sound of movement. A weak voice groans.
    "Shroud?"
    Suddenly there is a quick 'munch' sound, followed by a second belch.
    "Oh." She drops a rock. The rocks get crunched. Whifflenut then drops a bit of rations.
    There is the another sound of a munch, followed by choking and a thud.

    At this point, Arden is asleep, snoring. Luziann was relaxing, and Peādārr was busy healing slowly.

    Luziann: "Can you swap out some of your spells with healing spells?"
    Peādārr says irritably: "I've run out, completely. My die rolls just sucked."
    Luziann: "In the morning we'll be ready. Still, I'm not sure about going into a place we know is filled with undead."
    Peādārr: "Instead you want to go into the canyon where we have no idea what's in there."
    Whifflenut: "Luz can scout ahead. We'll wait here and root for the things down there."
    Luziann stands up threateningly and Whifflenut bolts up the land bridge to the tower, stopping at the doorway.
    Luziann mutters: "Damn. She didn't fall... Maybe she'll go inside," she said hopefully, standing at the start of the bridge, watching.

    Whiff approaches the dark doorway which seems much darker at night. She tosses a rock in.
    Nothing.
    She tosses another in.
    Nothing.
    She continues tossing rocks in, harder and harder. Other than the normal sounds of rocks hitting a cluttered floor or a wall. Then, amidst the throws, Whifflenut spins around nails Luziann in the head with a well aimed chuck. Luz isn't hit hard, but the sudden strike causes her to stumble and fall off the mesa.
    Whiff returns to the short mesa and watches Luz climb up the ladder. "You okay?"
    Luziann grabs Whiff and throws her off the precipice. Whifflenut casts Feather Fall and lands safely. Luz screams, climbs down, and begins chasing the kender with her sword out. Whiff bolts into the mist, Luz following.

    Arden wakes: "What's that?"
    Peādārr: "Nothing. Go back to sleep."

    Whiff reaches a make-shift graveyard with half-buried bones in the ground. Luziann approaches screaming things that would break the CoC for the boards. Suddenly a wraith appears. Whiff hopes it goes after Luz, but instead it goes after her. Whiff runs towards Luz, yelling at her to run. Luz sees the wraith and runs too.

    Running through the mist, they do not find the small plateau. Instead they run into a strange orchard.

    Whifflenut: "Where are we?"
    Luziann: "We went too far north. I think I remember seeing this place from the hill. It was to the northwest."
    Whifflenut: "But we ran west."
    The air changes scent.
    Luziann sighs: "Look." She places her hands in the air, miming a map. "Say the tower and bridge are here, and you ran this way."
    Whifflenut: "I ran that way," she says pointing east.
    Luziann: "No, you went a little northward. When we ran westward, we passed north of the plateau and into the tree."
    Whifflenut: "But I thought-"
    A twisted dryad steps out of a tree: "Be gone, now, or your flesh shall be flayed from your body and my pretty flowers shall drink of your blood as your bones are ground into the earth beneath my feet."
    Luziann: "I think we should leave."
    Whifflenut: "Or set everything on fire."
    The dryad screams in rage and summons two assassin vines, ordering them to attack.
    The vines attack, and the dryad grows a giant knot of vines blocking Whiff and Luz from her.

    Arden: "Maybe we should look for them."
    Peādārr: "They can take care of themselves. Beside, they can call if they need us."

    Whifflenut (fighting): "AHH!!!"

    Peādārr fails his listen check: "Don't hear anything."
    Arden critically fails his listen check and doesn't even hear Peādārr.

    Luziann: "HELP!"

    Peādārr and Arden: "Heard that."
    Peādārr: "Uh... where did that yell come from?"

    Luziann: "ARDEN! GET YOUR *** OVER HERE!"

    Peādārr: "That way."

    The dryad charms Luziann and orders her to "kill the kender".
    Whifflenut fries one of the vines, almost killing it, and holds off long enough for the other two to show up and see a vine slam her sideways, knocking her out.

    Pamela Isley laughs behind her protective wall, and tries to knock Arden out with a sleep spell. Arden shakes it off. Luziann attacks the two newcomers. Arden dodges Luz while trying to kill the vines. Peādārr struggles to reach Whifflenut before she dies. After several attempts, he stops her bleeding. Arden kills the vines, but is resistant to hurting Luziann. With her vines gone, the Pamela retreats back into the forest.

    Still without spells, Peādārr grabs Whifflenut and retreats. Arden stays to try to grab Luziann and prevent her from killing the others.

    Peādārr gets Whifflenut back up onto the plateau and the camp. Some time later Arden (with a nose bleed from a headbutt) forces Luziann to surrender. Still ensorcelled, she is bounded with their remaining rope.

    Peādārr: "Great. A night's rest ruined. We'll need to spend a full day here to regroup."
    Luziann: "Just let me kill the kender."
    Peādārr: "You're under a charm spell."
    Luziann: "I wanted to kill her before I went into the trees."
    Peādārr: "You swung at Arden and me!"
    Luziann: "I was cranky?"

    They camp for over 24 hours. Peādārr finally gets his spells refilled. Luziann appears to be free of the spell. As soon as Whifflenut regains consciousness, she decks Luziann.

    Luziann: "OW! What was that for!?"
    Whifflenut: "For trying to kill me while I was unconscious!"
    Arden: "How did you know if you were unconscious?"
    Whifflenut: "..... My player told me."
    Luziann: "No meta-gaming!"
    Whifflenut: "THIS WHOLE CAMPAIGN IS A META-GAME!"
    Luziann: "How about this? We can go back to the trees, and burn everything to the ground?"
    Whifflenut: "Sounds good to me."
    Peādārr: "Do we have any fire?"
    Arden picks up a burning stick from the campfire.
    Peādārr sighs: "Do we have any fire that won't go out in the MIST!?! Magical fire?"
    Everyone is silent.
    Luziann: "How about we level up, come back later, and THEN burn the forest?"
    Whifflenut: "Sounds good to me."
    Arden: "So what now?"
    Luziann: "Well, there's undead in the tower. There's a wraith over there. The tree-***** that way. There's still the building to the north?"
    Whifflenut: "Great. So we can get our butts kicked and have more we need to come back later and burn. For a full rounded out adventuring party, we're kinda pathetic."
    Luziann: "Come on. It's the last place we haven't run from yet."

    The group approaches a natural ramp leading up to the temple. Five broken statues no longer stand to either side of them as they reach the top. Once they reach the rise the temple is on, they feel the remaining strength of the gods pushing back the curse of the valley, making THIS spot a much safer place for the party to had camped at, instead of the direct middle of the cursed place.

    Luziann: "I feel the ensorcelment and the urge to kill coming back."
    Peādārr: "Me too."

    And having approached the temple, they enter the next chapter of the campaign, and thus level.

    Whifflenut: "WHAT!?!"
    Luziann: "ARE YOU ******* KIDDING ME! YOU MEAN ALL WE NEEDED TO DO WAS WALK STRAIGHT UP TO THIS PLACE TO ******* LEVEL!!!!?!!!?!!!"
    Whifflenut: "THAT'S IT! I'M GOING BACK AND BURNING THE TREES!"
    Arden: "Uh, then you're heading back and not heading into the next section. You won't get your level."

    And the clean family fun quality of the conversation goes downhill from there.

    Tune in next time, to an entirely different show. Trust me. It's better that way.
    Last edited by Carteeg_Struve; 03-15-2009 at 11:43 AM.
    "A payment. My life will simply be a payment. But only when all are free... My fault."
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